Harper: In your experience of the world. How do people change?
Mormon Mother: Well it has something to do with God so it's not very nice. God splits the skin with a jagged thumbnail from throat to belly and then plunges a huge filthy hand in, he grabs hold of your bloody tubes and they slip to evade his grasp but he squeezes hard, he insists, he pulls and pulls till all your innards are yanked out and the pain! We can't even talk about that. And then he stuffs them back, dirty, tangled and torn. It's up to you to do the stitching.
Harper: And then get up. And walk around.
Mormon Mother: Just mangled guts pretending.
I really don't like the god described by Tony Kushner in his epic play, Angels in America. But if God is real, then this is how he truly is.
Let's not kid ourselves. Look around at life and our lives. Could the true God, if he exists, be any other way? God is not our protector, he is not our training wheels. God is tough love, if he is even love at all. He is the rough asphalt that tears our skin when we fall off our bicycle. He is our repeated reminder that, yes, we can have the change we dream of but that change will often come at a painful price. And it's for us alone to decide whether to get back, bloodied, on the bike, or wallow and pray for him to stop the pain and help us up.
He won't. He doesn't. That's not his business.
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