Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Terry Levine

Hey Tim. Thanks for your comments. I agree completely. I'll say that unfortunately this isn't a strictly US issue. Racism and bigotry are everywhere. Our job, I believe, is too call these dumb dumbs out and shame them with facts. I also agree with you re: your comments about blacks being Christian. I've often wondered how African-Americans don't find it odd that they worship a god or son of god who is represented as white. But then again I never understood why Christians worship a god who is Jewish. But hey I'm atheist too so this all seems silly to me anyways. Thanks for your comments.


I know I am a little late to response. Being a gay asian man I can completely understand this post. As much as people want to hide their prejudice racism and stereotypes of asians and quite a bit of many other minority group behind "its just a preference" the reality is that I have never fit in well with the gay community for the exact reason. It isnt a preference when they start generalizing and making racial slurs for a certain group as if they are all identical clones. And though I understand there isnt anything wrong with being asian, hurtful languages still hurt and damaging to self confidence aNd esteem. It cant help but make you feel bad. Though it might truly be a preference but in many case preference is a direct result of ignorance and prejudice. Essentially it is the same nature as homophobia. We all understand that we are who we are and born this way, it still hurts when people generalize a gays to be a certain way and inferior to heterosexual. Make us feel less of a person. It is almost the same as saying. "i dont have problem wih you just stay away from me" "or you can do whatever but you cant get married" we would clearly identify that as homophobia/discrimination yet when it comes to racism within the gay community, we coated our racism with "its just a preference" to make ourselves feel better and not a hypocrit. Sooner or later it is a issue that must be confronted

Terry Levine

Thanks for your comment, Victor. I agree 100%!


I'm late to the party, but this is the stupidest bullshit I have ever read...

First of all, terry, you are a disgusting whore, just like your friends with their 100s of sexual partners. I hate to break it to you, but most gay people don't fuck everyone and everything. I'm not racist because I've never had sex with an Asian or black guy... How profoundly absurd you are. I can't even wrap my head around your insinuation that people should make sure to include everyone into their sexual repertoire. People like you make me physically ill and horribly ashamed to be gay.

Also, the brief time I check out grindr, it was all latinos saying they were "into vanilla and spice, not chocolate and rice"

Terry Levine

Thanks for your comments, Matt. You're right. Maybe you're not a racist asshole. Maybe you're just a big raging douche. I invite other readers to decide.


I've seen enough discussions like this one . Yeah, I am Chinese and I am classified as gam / orientals etc within the gay community. To be honest, I don't give a fuck what category people would want to place me in. As long as you are happy being yourself , that's the most important thing. I am seeing more and more orientals dating each other nowadays. It's really no big deal. Dating someone having the same background as yours, it's easier to communicate. I won't be surprised seeing Asian guys' profile saying "no gwm, no blacks" in the future. Deal with the reality, racists are everywhere. Things will change. One day, there might be more profiles saying no to gwm. It all depends on how well the minority groups get on with each other.


We live in a world of self gratification; I want, I don't have time, bloody Ipod and at times Gay culture perpetuates this ideal to a degree where sometimes i wonder am i on crazy pills???, i just thought it was a panadol for my cold.

Grindr wreaks of self gratification and hey why not?, i like sex, you like sex, we all like sex and we are all entitled to have a preference, honestly i don't think that most of the guys that have 'no asians, indians , blacks' what have you are racist, they are being abrupt and straight to the point ( no pun intended)

but the thing is.... how these blasé statements affecting who we are as a society or how we are training the next generation of gay youths to act, how does an ethnic gay teen first joining up to Grindr seeing that help me? how does that statement affect a white gay youth? and oh i sound so self righteous, hey i'm not perfect and i'm asian too so i've dealt with it.

But at the end of the day, in black and white, just like how mum and dad teach us manners when we're young- it's just not fucking nice! - that's it!


I haven't noticed any racism against Indian men on the dating sites. I don't think the facial features found on many Indian men are even all that ethnic, to be honest. Anyway, at the end of the day, this issue is so trivial. Many of the posters here sound so angry and tired. Perhaps they should try finding a hobby?

John Shannon

The comments I've read here, just make me so sad. The preference defense is biased/bigoted/racist in itself. Beauty and attraction are subjective, yes. It is however, far more humane and civilized to talk about qualities that you FIND beautiful (if you must list that in a profile at all).
I don't think I've encountered nearly enough of any given race to make any sort of blanket statement about my attraction or indifference as a whole. I have, however encountered many men of varying races, shapes, sizes and traits that I've found absolutely beautiful. I'm attracted to MEN. The XY. And I gladly leave that distinction broad, and based solely upon the individual characteristics that appear to me in the presence of a man. No, I don't find every man attractive, but I often see beauty where I might not have had I labelled and dismissed a man before he spoke to me.

You'd think the gay community as a minority group (oppressed for reasons beyond our own control) would be inherently more empathetic and less vapid... but "Nope".

Darryl Thixton

You guys that are banging on about "preference" are PATHETIC.

NEWS FLASH QUEENS---When you ADVERTISE an EXCLUSION of a certain group or color...IT'S RACIST...it's the same as advertising for a JOB and then adding 'NO BLACKS'.

When you SOCIALLY CUT someone in PUBLIC because of their color...IT'S RACIST....sorry if you don't LIKE it.


Oh yeah...when you're CAUGHT in your WHITE-SUPREMACIST PRACTICES and your response is "SO WHAT?"....YOU'RE RACIST.

Darryl Thixton

"I have always excluded women as sexual partners because of 'preferences'-who am I trying to fool except myself ? I am a misogynist."

NO you're a HOMOSEXUAL...are you saying your GAYNESS is a PREFERENCE?

Hmmm..THAT'S the same thing the GAY-BASING RIGHT WING says...

what do you KNOW about THAT???

Darryl Thixton

"I haven't noticed any racism against Indian men on the dating sites. I don't think the facial features found on many Indian men are even all that ethnic, to be honest. Anyway, at the end of the day, this issue is so trivial. Many of the posters here sound so angry and tired. Perhaps they should try finding a hobby?"

You mean TRIVIAL like your POST?

THAT kind of TRIVIAL????



Amen. It's a frustrating dialogue to have because one side is backed up by academic research and understanding and the other is nothing more than uneducated, and often flat-out empirically false, *opinion.*

We live in a world culture that worships whiteness, maleness and straightness above all else. IE, "no fats fems asians or blacks"

It's pathetic. Is it a preference? Yes. A prejudicial preference. When you can't see the person, because all you see is The Ethnicity, there's no way to ignore that what one has is an unaddressed, perhaps subconscious, issue with that ethnicity or culture. We learn it. Thus, it can be unlearned. Alas, some dudes seem rather proud of the limitations in life - they don't want to grow. Is it any wonder most of the "it's just a preference" crowd are Conservatives? methinks not. Well met, Terry.


The comments to this entry are closed.

i'm here too

Become a Fan