THE QUEER CASE OF RACISM IN THE GAY COMMUNITY.

All right. I admit it. I'm a bigot. It's true. I hate stupid and ignorant people, particularly when they're my own peeps. Does being bigoted toward bigots make me a bigot? I guess that's one of those riddles wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.

I've found myself confronted with the question of gay racism a lot lately. Last December I worked on a pitch for a campaign addressing the issue of isolation brought on by intolerance within the gay community. And last weekend I was interviewed for a documentary called SegreGAYtion, due out next year, which explores how divisions within the gay community -- racial, physical, health-related -- breed alienation and animosity.

It shouldn't be this way but, human nature being what it is, it's not entirely surprising. It's always disappointed me to see men and women physically and emotionally attacked for being gay by straight society turn around and discriminate against minority groups within the gay community. You'd think we'd know better.

As a Jew living for the most part on the DL, successfully hiding my horns and tail from clear view, I've found myself in interesting situations, confronted half a dozen times by anti-Semitic comments from gays who hadn't clued into my Jewiness. Of course once you call them on it, you actually hear the stereotypical bigot response: "my best friend/brother-in-law/dog is Jewish!"

One has to look no further than the odious Queers Against Israeli Apartheid, a thinly veiled hate group irrationally obsessed with the Jewish state's dastardly liberal policies toward gays but blind to the plight of homos in Arab and Muslim countries.

Still, at least on the issue of racism within the gay community, Jews have little to complain about. Ask a black person or someone of East- or South-Asian descent. They don't have the luxury to hide their inferiority the way sneaky Jews can. They wear it, well, right on their face and bigots have to usually wait till they leave the room before the racist fun begins.

Just ask most gay white males whether they've ever dated or would date an Asian, for instance, and you're likely to get the same look as someone who steps in poop on the sidewalk. Of course, if you call them on it or suggest their lack of openness is tantamount to racism, they get defensive. "It's just a preference!" they insist.

Nobody, it turns out, likes to be called a racist these days. Particularly racists.

Am I being hard on these folks? I don't think so. Take the photo below, sent to me by a friend from some gay hookup site called Grindr or something :-) where one can block the profiles of members one isn't interested in. (I've covered over the person's face to protect the stupid.)

Now the comment at the bottom of Sk8er Boy's profile is meant to be funny. Boy, who just happens to be white, would no doubt defensively tell me "bro, it's just a joke." But, bro, it really isn't. It's an insidious sort of racism couched in humor, one that winks at the notion that it's okay to denigrate Asians or Indians or blacks simply because they're Asians or Indians or blacks and getting messages from them on Grindr -- or having them come up to you in a bar -- is just too icky. Block!

Boy and the countless dudes like him are unlikely to be burning crosses on anyone's lawns anytime soon. This isn't that kind of racism, of course. But it's still racism. It's still bigotry.

I remember just before coming out 14 years ago, my brother's brother-in-law used to continually make homophobic remarks in front of me. After I came out, the comments stopped. I don't know if he still does it, but I suspect he doesn't because it's harder to when it's uncomfortable and unacceptable -- after all, his sister was married to my brother.

Bigotry within the gay community should be viewed the same way -- as unacceptable. We all have "preferences" and that's certainly our right. But we don't have a right to make people feel inferior because they look different from us -- anymore than straight people have a right to make us feel inferior because of who we choose to love. Not in this day and age. Not after all we've gone through. Not anymore.

Comments

[Terry Levine]

Hey Tim. Thanks for your comments. I agree completely. I'll say that unfortunately this isn't a strictly US issue. Racism and bigotry are everywhere. Our job, I believe, is too call these dumb dumbs out and shame them with facts. I also agree with you re: your comments about blacks being Christian. I've often wondered how African-Americans don't find it odd that they worship a god or son of god who is represented as white. But then again I never understood why Christians worship a god who is Jewish. But hey I'm atheist too so this all seems silly to me anyways. Thanks for your comments.

[Victor]

I know I am a little late to response. Being a gay asian man I can completely understand this post. As much as people want to hide their prejudice racism and stereotypes of asians and quite a bit of many other minority group behind "its just a preference" the reality is that I have never fit in well with the gay community for the exact reason. It isnt a preference when they start generalizing and making racial slurs for a certain group as if they are all identical clones. And though I understand there isnt anything wrong with being asian, hurtful languages still hurt and damaging to self confidence aNd esteem. It cant help but make you feel bad. Though it might truly be a preference but in many case preference is a direct result of ignorance and prejudice. Essentially it is the same nature as homophobia. We all understand that we are who we are and born this way, it still hurts when people generalize a gays to be a certain way and inferior to heterosexual. Make us feel less of a person. It is almost the same as saying. "i dont have problem wih you just stay away from me" "or you can do whatever but you cant get married" we would clearly identify that as homophobia/discrimination yet when it comes to racism within the gay community, we coated our racism with "its just a preference" to make ourselves feel better and not a hypocrit. Sooner or later it is a issue that must be confronted

[Terry Levine]

Thanks for your comment, Victor. I agree 100%!

[Matt]

I'm late to the party, but this is the stupidest bullshit I have ever read...

First of all, terry, you are a disgusting whore, just like your friends with their 100s of sexual partners. I hate to break it to you, but most gay people don't fuck everyone and everything. I'm not racist because I've never had sex with an Asian or black guy... How profoundly absurd you are. I can't even wrap my head around your insinuation that people should make sure to include everyone into their sexual repertoire. People like you make me physically ill and horribly ashamed to be gay.

Also, the brief time I check out grindr, it was all latinos saying they were "into vanilla and spice, not chocolate and rice"

[Terry Levine]

Thanks for your comments, Matt. You're right. Maybe you're not a racist asshole. Maybe you're just a big raging douche. I invite other readers to decide.

[Cedric]

I've seen enough discussions like this one . Yeah, I am Chinese and I am classified as gam / orientals etc within the gay community. To be honest, I don't give a fuck what category people would want to place me in. As long as you are happy being yourself , that's the most important thing. I am seeing more and more orientals dating each other nowadays. It's really no big deal. Dating someone having the same background as yours, it's easier to communicate. I won't be surprised seeing Asian guys' profile saying "no gwm, no blacks" in the future. Deal with the reality, racists are everywhere. Things will change. One day, there might be more profiles saying no to gwm. It all depends on how well the minority groups get on with each other.

[Bernie]

We live in a world of self gratification; I want, I don't have time, bloody Ipod and at times Gay culture perpetuates this ideal to a degree where sometimes i wonder am i on crazy pills???, i just thought it was a panadol for my cold.

Grindr wreaks of self gratification and hey why not?, i like sex, you like sex, we all like sex and we are all entitled to have a preference, honestly i don't think that most of the guys that have 'no asians, indians , blacks' what have you are racist, they are being abrupt and straight to the point ( no pun intended)

but the thing is.... how these blasé statements affecting who we are as a society or how we are training the next generation of gay youths to act, how does an ethnic gay teen first joining up to Grindr seeing that help me? how does that statement affect a white gay youth? and oh i sound so self righteous, hey i'm not perfect and i'm asian too so i've dealt with it.

But at the end of the day, in black and white, just like how mum and dad teach us manners when we're young- it's just not fucking nice! - that's it!

[Cameron]

I haven't noticed any racism against Indian men on the dating sites. I don't think the facial features found on many Indian men are even all that ethnic, to be honest. Anyway, at the end of the day, this issue is so trivial. Many of the posters here sound so angry and tired. Perhaps they should try finding a hobby?

[John Shannon]

The comments I've read here, just make me so sad. The preference defense is biased/bigoted/racist in itself. Beauty and attraction are subjective, yes. It is however, far more humane and civilized to talk about qualities that you FIND beautiful (if you must list that in a profile at all).
I don't think I've encountered nearly enough of any given race to make any sort of blanket statement about my attraction or indifference as a whole. I have, however encountered many men of varying races, shapes, sizes and traits that I've found absolutely beautiful. I'm attracted to MEN. The XY. And I gladly leave that distinction broad, and based solely upon the individual characteristics that appear to me in the presence of a man. No, I don't find every man attractive, but I often see beauty where I might not have had I labelled and dismissed a man before he spoke to me.

You'd think the gay community as a minority group (oppressed for reasons beyond our own control) would be inherently more empathetic and less vapid... but "Nope".

[Darryl Thixton]

You guys that are banging on about "preference" are PATHETIC.

NEWS FLASH QUEENS---When you ADVERTISE an EXCLUSION of a certain group or color...IT'S RACIST...it's the same as advertising for a JOB and then adding 'NO BLACKS'.

When you SOCIALLY CUT someone in PUBLIC because of their color...IT'S RACIST....sorry if you don't LIKE it.

When you're HIDING BEHIND PREFERENCE...IT'S RACIST...as OFTEN as you QUEENS change your HAIR...your CLOTHING and your BOTOXED FACES...your SURE AS HELL can change your SEXUAL PREFERENCES.

Oh yeah...when you're CAUGHT in your WHITE-SUPREMACIST PRACTICES and your response is "SO WHAT?"....YOU'RE RACIST.

[Darryl Thixton]

"I have always excluded women as sexual partners because of 'preferences'-who am I trying to fool except myself ? I am a misogynist."

NO you're a HOMOSEXUAL...are you saying your GAYNESS is a PREFERENCE?

Hmmm..THAT'S the same thing the GAY-BASING RIGHT WING says...

what do you KNOW about THAT???

[Darryl Thixton]

"I haven't noticed any racism against Indian men on the dating sites. I don't think the facial features found on many Indian men are even all that ethnic, to be honest. Anyway, at the end of the day, this issue is so trivial. Many of the posters here sound so angry and tired. Perhaps they should try finding a hobby?"

You mean TRIVIAL like your POST?

THAT kind of TRIVIAL????

What's YOUR hobby hon? INSANE CORRELATIONS?

[D]

Amen. It's a frustrating dialogue to have because one side is backed up by academic research and understanding and the other is nothing more than uneducated, and often flat-out empirically false, *opinion.*

We live in a world culture that worships whiteness, maleness and straightness above all else. IE, "no fats fems asians or blacks"

It's pathetic. Is it a preference? Yes. A prejudicial preference. When you can't see the person, because all you see is The Ethnicity, there's no way to ignore that what one has is an unaddressed, perhaps subconscious, issue with that ethnicity or culture. We learn it. Thus, it can be unlearned. Alas, some dudes seem rather proud of the limitations in life - they don't want to grow. Is it any wonder most of the "it's just a preference" crowd are Conservatives? methinks not. Well met, Terry.

http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.ca/2011/11/oh-abercrombie-fitch.html