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I think you've brought up some great points here, but I do have do disagree on two of your don'ts. The first is de-friending someone - I've been doing this a lot lately with people I haven't spoken to in ages or who I've just grown apart from. Why would I want these people knowing any of personal business when I don't even talk to them in real life? And the second is about unsolicited posts. Doesn't it defeat the purpose to ask someone's permission to write on their wall? What's the point then? I understand this might be to protect privacy, etc., but in general, when you write on someone's wall it's just to say 'Hey!' or let them know you're thinking about them.


Hi Jennifer. Thanks for the comment. To clarify, I'm not suggesting you ask permission before commenting on their wall. I meant posting an item on their wall.

As for the de-friending issue, I see your point. I guess it depends how you use Facebook. I don't post anything I would consider personal in a compromising sort of way. But I do think this is a generational thing. People older than me seem a lot more concerned about privacy, while those younger than me couldn't care less. I'm somewhere in the middle.

Heather Luelo

Posting comments etc during the wee hours of the AM while drunk...not smart.


In my opinion, I think it's just proper and mature to not post photos of oneself being ridiculously idiotic or idiosyncratic ie. drunk and/or doing inappropriate things; especially whilst in professional attire or on business trips. It's a huge pet peeve for my company cause employees actually lose their jobs over facebook postings. Just be mature about it mates. Keep it fun, proper and professional :)

William Cross

I agree with you for the most part, however we now seem to have "facebook" friends and real friends or friends as acquaintances so I am confused how do you tell the difference?

Perhaps Facebook needs to have a different category?

terry levine

William, I believe you tell the difference by the regularity with which you see or speak with those people. :)

I'm reminded about how grumpy old man John McCain (and the rabbi from my synagogue growing up) always says "my friends" in his speeches. I suspect his use of the phrase is a little like the meaning of Facebook friends.


Rachael Taylor

I disagree on defrieding. I recently went through and "cut" my friend list from 600+ to right around 300. My criteria, if you never comment on my posts, if I would pass you on the street and not know who you are, or if I don't agree with the things you say on your wall you didn't make the final list. My biggest pet peeve was people who never interacted with me. I don't think you should get to be a secret watcher of my life, it's weird and creepy. I also don't think this makes me a bad person, I think it makes me someone who still values the word "friend" as someone you would actually want as part of your daily life.


Thanks for the comment Rachael! I see your point though I simply differentiate between real friends and 'Facebook friends.' To me Facebook friends might be akin to people I'd consider inviting to my wedding or sending Christmas cards to. They're not people I see or speak to a lot but they're people I want to share some of my life with. But to your point, you might not want to share every personal event with 500 people, and I totally respect that. The truth is I only have a handful of really close friends. If Facebook was simply connecting me to those 5 or 10 people, it wouldn't make the Facebook experience very compelling.

Cathy E.

Good information. I am still unsure about one aspect of Facebook. I recently saw a very inappropriate comment posted publicly about my son's girlfriend. I privately sent the offender a message from me letting him know that his comment was disrespectful. He and I privately agreed to disagree. My son and girlfriend are exremely upset with me. They feel it is not my business. I feel that since the posting was public I have every "right" to comment and thought doing it privately was best and would not further embarrass anyone. It has resulted in debate and difficutly and hurt feelings because I am "the mom". Apparently parents, especially "moms" don't have the same privilege on Facebook as others! Help - any comments on this issue? Was I out of line? Before I post anything on Facebook having to do with friends of my son or his girlfiend, they want me to clear it through them. Comments?

terry levine

Thanks for your comment. I'd have to say I'm with you on this one. I remember being a teenager and my mom sticking up for me in a similar pre-Facebook moment. It embarrassed me but in retrospect I was lucky to have had a mother who cared enough to defend me like that. They'll see the light when they get older. In the meantime, throw it back at them and ask whether they would have stood idly by if someone disrespected you or the girl's mother on Facebook or elsewhere? I think there's only one answer they can give that won't made them sound and feel like heartless bums. You did the right thing. :-)

Cathy E.

Thank you. What you said is exactly what I did - threw it back at them to ask how they would have responded had it been me that was disrespected. In this case it seems that you still have to be "cool" on Facebook and not take responsibility or be accountable for comments. If comments are made publicly there are sometimes consequences and they may not be the feel-good kind. Thanks again.

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